in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize