So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
