watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Success! We fucked roommates!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
