Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
