just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
