And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
