Nicole vs. Life
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
