Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
nutella sex= disaster
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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