her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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