One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
