TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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