I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
