I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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