is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
