he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize