Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize