Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
