I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
