If that was your dad, he is hot
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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