Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
