Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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