I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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