i need an iv and a liver transplant
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
