I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
