Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
