Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
tell me about the eggs
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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