Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
