Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
someone owes me an orgasm
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
