margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
