Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think my vagina is haunted
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
