how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
