My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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