yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
