I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
