oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
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It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
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Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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