i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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