nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
