Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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