I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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