you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
