btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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