Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
