dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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