Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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