He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
