you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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