so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
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I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
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She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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