I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
