Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
