Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
BRING THE BAGELS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
