Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize