Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
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There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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