Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
