when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?