Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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