After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?