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He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Randomize
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