Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
