Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
