i already hear my dad disowning me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
