you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
