i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I want a musical about memes.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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