the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He has the fingertips of a God
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
