I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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