Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
