I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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