I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
