We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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