Having a random hookup so left but love u
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I had to cum in my sink.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
