idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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