You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Did you pee in the oven last night??
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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